Monday, January 31, 2011

Of Brides and Dresses

So, my previous post commented on the disgusting modern trend of 'seductress' wedding dresses.


My main gripe against the modern wedding dresses isn't even the immodesty (although that is a big deal too), it's simply the dishonor shown to the husband through what the bride chooses to wear. It's like she's saying it's all about her - her being as 'beautiful' as she can be, her being the center of attention, even at the expense of her own dignity and the respect due to her new husband.

But - even worse than that - weddings are supposed to represent the union of Jesus and the church! Weddings should honor God first and foremost. That is a pretty big responsibility - and it's completly missing in a majority of wedding celbrations. How can they when there is such a blatant lack of dignity and purity??

It's not a matter of dress style or skirt length - its a matter of attitude.
So, until attitudes are changed - dresses are going to just go along in the same horrid trends - or even get worse.
But - attitudes trends can be changed, and it can start with you. (whether it be everyday dress or wedding dress)
So - on that note, my next post will be a gallery of inspirational pictures of actually lovely wedding gowns, whether they be modern, vintage, or historical.

11 comments:

Miss Linda said...

When you posted the pictures of the immodest wedding dresses I immediately thought 'how could a woman appear before God on such a solemn occasion attired so irreverently?' As you said, marriage represents the union of Christ and the church--dare we show ourselves in such an immodest manner when the eyes of Heaven are upon us?

The virtues of modesty, and a meek and quiet spirit, are the greatest ornaments a woman can possess.

This was a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing and I do look forward to your gallery of modest wedding dresses!

Miss Tami Lee said...

While I agree with you on the look of many modern weddings dresses being on the trashy side, I don't think it's right to generalize that all weddings are meant to centralize god. If you are religious, then yes.

But many couples who get married aren't so of course they themselves are the focus of their wedding, not a union with Jesus.

Still not excuse for ugly weddings though :)

Gail said...

You are right about the attitude part however I believe it goes in hand with the exposed skin. One would think with it being the bride's big day, that the men won't be gazing at the bride's legs while the women quietly talk between her back. Everyone should be witnessing a great, peaceful day between the newly wedded. I think the dresses would be very lovely given that the designer added more fabric.
When I was a little girl going to church with my grandmother, the congregation would really frown upon seductress dresses like that because they believed that there was a level of modesty for the church and it was disrespectful to God.
Basically it is a great dishonor on the bride and the groom because the bride wearing something that flashes mixed signals. With all do respect, bride's sexiness is now something for her & her husband to enjoy in their home not showing it off to everyone at the wedding.

Atlanta said...

Miss Tami,
thank you for your comment.

But since I do believe in Jesus, and that he is the only true Savior, and I believe God is the one who invented marriage - I can't separate the idea of the Creator not being involved in a marriage. I know there are plenty of people who 'aren't religious' so aren't focused on God in their ceremony, but that doesn't make it right. :^)

nuranar said...

Very good points, and of course you know where I stand. :)

I've been learning as well, though, how fragile a man's ego is, especially in his marriage. For man, his wife's appearance is a big part of this; and it's a real joy for him to have a wife who really tries to be beautiful. In a very real sense, I think that a bride's efforts to be beautiful reflect back on the man she's marrying. After all, he chose HIM just as much as he chose her. She honors him with her effort, and he glories in her beauty. A dress is just a minor part of this whole attitude.

Very interesting discussion!

nuranar said...

Ugh, I had a typo - "She chose him just as much as he chose her."

Katy Rose said...

I don't believe that god created marriage. Evolution created marriage. Two people need to be together in order to procreate and carry on the existence of mankind. Your definition of what a wedding and marriage is entirely biased towards god and jesus because that is your belief. Ancient customs of marriage were institutionalized to gain women for sex in order to procreate; to continue a man's lineage; to secure money and property, etc.

God had nothing to do with marriage and weddings until christianity was forced on people during the crusades, beofre that it was a business arrangement. I'd look up your history, but that's just my opinion.

Rowenna said...

Awesome points--and you know, even if you aren't religious, I think it's still disrespectful to your families, your husband, and yourself to wear clothing meant to do one thing--provoke sexual interest. What does being sexy have to do with being a bride (at least...until after the wedding with the lucky groom!)? I'd be ashamed even without including my religious beliefs to wear a dress like one of the ones you showed in front of my parents, and my husband would feel hurt--like I cared more about flaunting it for other men than him.

Kristin said...

I was watching wedding shows on TV yesterday. (I couldn't help myself-I mostly watched because these were very unusual themed weddings and I wanted to see how they were pulled off :) I was struck by how many of the brides were so egocentric- talking about "my" day and so forth. And I kept thinking, what about your husband? Isn't it just as much "his" day as it is your's? :)

~Kristin

Charity U said...

Right on, Atlanta! It's the attitude that counts. Looking forward to your next post!

Hana - Marmota said...

"My main gripe against the modern wedding dresses isn't even the immodesty (although that is a big deal too), it's simply the dishonor shown to the husband through what the bride chooses to wear. It's like she's saying it's all about her - her being as 'beautiful' as she can be, her being the center of attention, even at the expense of her own dignity and the respect due to her new husband."

That's exactly what I keep thinking about weddings nowadays... brides keep saying that themselves! That this is their Big Day, and it's all about them - yes, they say it's all about them. I completely understand the bride wanting to be as beautiful as possible for her future husband - I'd do the same - but in most similar discussions of weddings and wedding dresses I've become witness to (in films or so, I'm rather speaking about these "trends" than real people I know), the groom is somehow completely dropped from the conversation. So, apparently, it's all about what the bride wants to show up in, and not about what the groom would like to see her in. There should be more balance in this!
(I noticed "costumed" weddings online, and those, I think, tend to give more weight to the groom, because in a costumed wedding, he can dress up for his bride, too. Maybe this whole shift of attention to the bride began at the moment men's formal clothing stopped looking fancy. The first costumed wedding I ever came across was this one: http://www.elvish.org/gwaith/boris_and_olga.htm - and I really love how they used their shared hobby and yet, somehow, their faith also shines through.)

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